What should be the criterion for a couple selecting a marital therapy to improve their relationship?

Human beings are social creatures. Strong and healthy relationships are central to our happiness, health and wellbeing. “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong” (Brown, 2010)1. With positive relationships, we feel valued, purposeful, happier and healthier. For many, one of the most significant relationships in our life is that with our partner.

Similarities between the partners help in connecting, but the differences can also be complementary and enriching for the relationship. Yet the differences can pose challenges for the relationship if a couple struggles to navigate these differences in a way that works for the relationship.

Such differences are part and parcel of a relationship since each partner comes from different backgrounds with different upbringing and experiences, which shape how each sees the world and those around them. This directly or indirectly also influences how each partner may choose to respond to the situations each finds himself or herself in the relationship to best meet his or her needs. In turn, these may become certain ways and habits that one becomes used to and which may differ from his or her partner’s approach. When not understood, such differences may lead to conflicts and interaction dynamics that are unhelpful for the relationship, nor will they help resolve conflict. This may in turn lead to feelings of stress, doubts, loneliness, confusion and anger. The couple may further disconnect as conflicts escalate, arguments become frequent, or avoidant behaviour starts to take root and be present in the couple’s lives.

While we feel the innate need for human connection, the ability to form and maintain healthy, loving and supportive relationships also requires a great deal of openness to learning, communication, commitment and understanding. With counselling and therapy and the willingness to be open to the process, couples have grown to better understand each other, improve communication, and mutually support each other in the face of life and family challenges together.

Who We Help

Regardless of the nature of the relationship struggles or even the stage of that relationship issue, therapy and counselling can benefit you, your partner and your relationship. At In Focus, we offer relationship counselling, couple counselling and marriage counselling to couples in different stages of their relationship and also across all types of intimate relationships.

Our couple counselling and therapy services are open to individuals and couples regardless of background, ethnicity, nationality, marital status and also to LGBT individuals.

When Therapy & Counselling Can Be Beneficial For Your Relationship or Marriage 

Issues that arise in a couple relationship and where counselling and therapy will be helpful include the following:

• Communication problems
• Lack of intimacy – emotional and / or physical
• Emotional distance
• Frequent conflicts and arguments
• Struggles in resolving conflicts
• Infidelity, betrayal and trust issues
• Differences in values and perspectives such as in parenting, lifestyle and decision-making
• Substance abuse or addictions
• Interpersonal difficulties with in-laws
• When a crisis arises such as a major health concern of a partner / parents, or an impending loss in the family
• Financial issues
• Mental health issues associated with the relationship
• Difficulty bringing up an important issue to the partner 
• Something feels amiss in the relationship, but unable to identify the issue

Besides seeking help when relationship challenges arise, therapy and counselling can also help at different stages of a relationship.

• Early stages of relationship: This is a wonderful time to build the foundation for an enduring and satisfying relationship. Couple counselling can help the couple to strengthen the partnership through helping both parties enhance their understanding of each other and developing the skills and openness for good communication, conflict resolution and joint problem solving.
• Relationship review: Sometimes, one may feel uncertain about the next steps in the relationship. Couple counselling helps both parties evaluate their relationship and their relationship goals together and the choices involved, e.g. whether to officialise a union, whether to relocate, whether to bring the relationship to an end etc.
• Family issues: If issues revolve around the children or other family members, additional family therapy is also available and may be recommended by your counsellor or therapist where appropriate.

Give Your Relationship The Chance It Deserves  

Making a choice to attend couples counselling is an important step in a relationship. Yet it is understandable that this may be a difficult topic to bring up to your partner since it involves acknowledging that the relationship needs help. If the relationship struggles have been long standing or if past attempts at relationship counselling were not as successful as one hoped for, it is understandable that there is another layer of reservations.

Nonetheless, every relationship deserves a chance. Relationship building takes intentionality and also involves confronting one’s own fears and issues. Taking that step is key to starting or restarting the process towards personal growth, alongside growing together with your partner to restore, repair and revitalise the relationship and one’s own well-being.

How We Can Help

At In Focus, our counsellors and therapists understand how this may be challenging but we also firmly believe that with the right professional support and therapeutic environment, we can help you and your partner work through the difficulties in your relationship.

We provide a supportive, respectful, confidential, and non-judgmental safe space for both parties to express one’s deepest concerns and feelings. These conversations will be hard but our professional counsellors and therapists will facilitate and help each other through this process.

Informed by a combination of approaches like Choice Theory Reality Therapy (CTRT), Emotion-focused Therapy (EFT) or Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Systemic Therapy and other therapeutic approaches, our counsellors and therapists will be able to help you and your partner build stronger bonds, deepen mutual understanding and re-ignite the connection that may have been missing for some time.

Of importance, we believe that counselling and therapy is collaborative. Facilitated and guided by a professional counsellor or therapist at In Focus, together with personal commitment and intentionality for change and growth, couples who have been through couple or marriage counselling and therapy find themselves experiencing the following:

• A common appreciation of what the relationship means to both parties
• A stronger bond between both parties
• A better understanding of the interaction patterns and dynamics between the parties and the deeper causes
• New perspectives that help both parties see themselves and each other with more empathy and compassion
• Growth in learning more positive and healthier alternatives to manage and resolve conflicts
• Empowerment in changing the interaction dynamics and developing new dynamics helpful for the relationship
• Where trust had been previously broken, reparation from hurt experienced and re-establishment of trust
• Clarity of goals that both parties desire for the relationship and their future together
• Renewed joy, love, satisfaction and meaning in life and in the relationship

Contact us today to find out more about couple counselling or marriage counselling at In Focus to know how we can support you and your partner in this season of your relationship, and grow towards fulfilling your potential to flourish and thrive in life.

ABOUT US

At In Focus, we empathise with our clients as they go through myriad of life’s problems, stresses and challenges which are overwhelming at times. As these happened to us too. The only difference is, it is our profession to help others overcome these life hurdles so as to live life to the fullest.

OUR SERVICES

We have a range of services available for your consideration depending on your needs. You can get in touch with us for coaching services, corporate consultation, professional training, counselling and psychotherapy services. Please visit our services page to see what we offer.

CONTACT US

Phone: +65 8725 9303

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