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Silent Listening: stay attentive non-verbally but not saying anything
- best when someone is grieving
Questioning: asking for additional information
- keep ourselves from assumptions, clarify meanings, encourage elaborations
- avoid counterfeit questions: the question that makes a statement or has a hidden agenda
Paraphrasing: restate speaker's message in our own words
- demonstrates understanding, opportunity to clarify meanings
- use if we aren't
sure if we understand, encourages other person to continue sharing
Empathizing: when we want to show we understand what they are going through
- do not deny their feeling or minimize the significance of the situation
Supporting: when we want to reflect back to that person how we feel
- praise, reassurance, simple agreement, it must match what the other person needs
- when they want to vent, when the person needs to feel cared for
Analyzing: offer your own
interpertation
- offer it in a tentative way, make sure other person is going to be receptive [do they want to talk about it?], make sure your motives are to help them
Evaluation: offering appraisal
- problematic when we disagree
- wait for the person to ask what you think, make sure your evaluation is constructive & not a put down
Advising: telling them what they should do in response
- make sure the other person wants to hear it, make sure they would be willing
to follow your advice [opinion & advice different: advice should actually be good]
**best to begin with questioning, paraphrasing, empathy, or support then analysis, evaluation, and advice
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