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Tartine
I'm sorry, but that's called lunch. They don't serve sandwiches until lunchtime.
Gabrielle Lurie/Special To The Chronicle Ike's Place
Ma'am, it seems like you made a mistake somewhere along the line here...
Leah Millis/The Chronicle The House of Prime Rib
Posting a one-star review just to get people to read it is perhaps the newest low in social media attention-getting.
Liz Hafalia/The Chronicle Hog Island Oyster Co.
Or maybe you could just ask the host to re-seat you when you saw it was a communal table, the furniture harbinger of bad times.
Jim Merithew/SFC Chez Maman
Who doesn't love a good crape?
Liz Hafalia/SFC B Patisserie
You have literally just described all of pastry.
Liz Hafalia/The Chronicle Sushi Ran
RIP Steve Jobs, who sadly died before finding good sushi according to this reviewer.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle The House
Fun fact: Food doesn't count if it cheats.
Mike Kepka/SFC Swan's Oyster Depot
Never try to order food Togo. It is the least amenable African nation.
TIM KAO/PHOTOG AND SOURCE Zazie
Maybe don't leave a one-star review alleging someone stole your credit card information without ANY proof.
Brant Ward/The Chronicle Burma Superstar
One should probably reconsider getting detailed advice on Burmese food from Guy Fieri, and one should also know how to spell his name if they're name-dropping him in a Yelp review.
Carlos Avila Gonzalez/The Chronicle Gary Danko
The apex of first-world problems is being served lobster twice in one meal.
John Storey The Slanted Door
False advertising, guys.
John Storey Quince
And you thought slanted doors were the weirdest things being reviewed.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Nopa
It's some kind of millennial stereotype that this person left a one-star review for a restaurant they were currently sitting and eating in.
Liz Hafalia/The Chronicle Kokkari
You have to hand it to this person: That is certainly an alternative view.
John Storey Tu Lan
For the record, this review does not include any photos. Just one person disgruntled about misplaced noodle gravy.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Marlowe
Crowded and unhealthy: eating out in a nutshell.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Tommy's Joynt
It sounds like your beef is with Yelp's algorithm, not the restaurant...
Leah Millis/The Chronicle Tataki
This one is genuinely funny and a perfect summary of many Bay Area restaurants.
Stephen Lam/The Chronicle Mamacita
What on earth could Chevy's provide a more authentic flavor of?!
Michael Short/Special To The Chronicle The French Laundry
Heaven forbid you ever go somewhere that requires dressing up like an adult!
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Tosca
If you go anywhere expecting the wait staff to be comprised of Hollywood celebrities, you're going to be disappointed.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Saison
Pro tip: Don't fake a food allergy to get a refund. That's just not nice.
Carlos Avila Gonzalez/The Chronicle Ike's Place
If you'd eaten a Whopper, you would be puking all night.
LANCE IVERSEN/San Francisco Chronicle Sotto Mare
You found a nickel in your pasta?! We have a lot of questions.
John Storey/Special To The Chronicle Dottie's True Blue Cafe
It's hard to trust the advice of anyone who prefers Mel's Diner.
Stephanie Wright Hession Everyone's a critic, right?
The adage is truer now more than ever, with review sites like Yelp giving voice to anyone with an internet connection and a bone to pick about their latest meal. For the most part, given a certain threshold of reviews, the average star-rating works out to be about right. But as former Chronicle restaurant critic Michael Bauer onced noted, very low reviews can be less than fair.
"I'd say the majority of the time when a person gives a one or two stars on Yelp it is because they feel disrespected," he said. "Unfortunately, many of the Yelp reviews are not objective and posted in the heat of anger or disappointment."
MORE:The worst-reviewed attractions in San Francisco
Some don't even wait for the meal to end: Some of the reviews we found were posting MID-MEAL while the reviewer was still sitting in the restaurant. You've got to give it more time than that, guys.
ALSO: San Francisco gets second-most nominations on James Beard Semifinalists list
For some of the funniest, weirdest one-star reviews of local restaurants, check out the gallery above.
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